Updated: Dec 10, 2019
There was a time when I believed that this life was what it was; that I had no control over the ebbs and flows, the ups and downs, the constant vacillation between happy and sad, and the fiery hunger to be more than I was.
There was a time when I thought I would forever float through this waking life asleep. I thought I was the girl staring at me in the mirror; the person others saw me to be; the longing in my writings; the static energy that came when I couldn't sleep.
I didn't know that I merely needed to sit. I needed to be still. I needed a breath of air so big and expansive that it could fill the entirety of my being. I needed a breath to remind me that I can breathe.
There was a time when I would turn to others to answer all of my questions. To tell me how to feel and what to say. I didn't trust myself. I didn't believe I was capable of answering my own soul.
I didn't know that I was the source; the knower; the limitless sky; the glistening light; my own home.
I wish someone would have told me when I was lost in the darkness looking for validation through the looks of others, the hands on my back, and the deep hue of a glass, that the only place I needed to look was within.
There is an astounding light within me that whispers, I am enough. I am love. I have everything I need inside of me. Keep going. I am doing so well. Continue returning to love.
I try to remember these words when I wake up to the anxious pit in my stomach, not knowing why I feel unready to take on the day. I come back to this voice when I fall asleep to a clamoring of thoughts hastening through my brain. I call on this higher self when I need encouragement to continue believing in my dreams.
I am my highest self when I meet myself in the silent abyss; in the rise and fall of my chest; in the visions and sounds that show themselves to me when my eyes are closed.
I begin this day knowing that I am already whole. That there is nothing outside of myself that I need; for there is gold within. I am the seeker, the knower, the giver, the receiver, the endless expanse of creation manifest.
You are enough. You are love. You have everything you need inside of you. Keep going. You are doing so well. Continue returning to love.