Updated: Dec 10, 2019
How are you? Your photos pop up on my computer from time to time; you seem like you're doing well. Life in Europe always looks so alluring.
The rolling curves of the Amalfi Coast, the crystals cascading from ocean waves, guitarists on street corners playing for themselves and the night sky, the romance that's blooming within every crevice of its landscape - it's easy to fall in love when there's boundless love all around you.
I remember how every new experience with you was magnified by the beauty of our scenery; all of the new terrain I had yet to discover.
I had never felt so liberated; life in Italy was unrestrained. I would walk the cobble stone streets at night looking out to the golden hues flowering the cliffside and feel a warmth surround me as though everything happening in that moment was meant for me.
Days stretched out to feel like weeks and before I knew it, I was waiting at the airport to go back to New York. I didn't know how I could ever love New York as much as I loved Positano. Life had never been so gratifying before my month long stay in Italy; happiness brimmed my being; I was drenched in bliss.
I didn't know where my leaving left us, but I had thought we both understood the nature of what we were. Two people unable to fully cross the line onto the other's side. We had more than just an ocean between us - we were at two completely different points in our lives.
I'm sorry that I assumed you felt the same way as I did. I never meant to hurt you. I know you were willing to come to New York, to leave one life and start another, but I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want to be responsible for you moving your life around for me.
And looking back now, I know my decision was right. I don't know if you see it that way, too, but I hope you do.
Some things are just better left when they're at their best than to wait for their eventual fall. Our memory is untethered by heartache or pain. We are untouched by darkness, forever preserved in the goodness of our sweet beginning.