I know it sounds dramatic, but being off Instagram this past week was so beautiful and refreshing.
It's just an app, another social media platform to connect with others and share my corner of the world, but it's also quite an addiction as well. From being sick this week and taking a technology detox, I realized how obsessive this space can become.
I love Instagram for its ability to connect me with people like you, who I enjoy communicating and interacting with. I love how I can share my writing, thoughts and ideas and discover like-minded souls who feel the same way as I do. I love how I have friends from all over the world, who know me really well, but who I've never met in person. I love how this space can help people feel less alone.
One thing I realized from not posting though is how much of our lives are spent living for others rather than ourselves. How many times do we take a photo of an experience we're having, and instead of fully being in that moment, we curate and edit it for how we want it to be conveyed to others?
I had random moments throughout the week where I caught myself observing the experience I was in and thinking of how I could write a great post on what I was going through. I was literally formatting my life into Instagram worthy content that I thought would be helpful to others. I was framing my thought processes into the "perfect post" rather than just being in the moment.
I caught myself wanting to snap a photo of the morning light that made me feel at peace. I thought of sharing the crescent sliver of the moon above my bedroom window. I took a photo of my homemade Chai tea because it looked pretty.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to share beauty with others and the smaller details of your life, especially with the intention of helping others with shared obstacles. But throughout this week long detox, (which isn't even that long!) I thought to myself:
Where in my life am I not living for myself anymore?
Where do I need to step back into the moment of who I am and what I'm experiencing?
Where can I disconnect and stay present?
How can I live just for me?
The funny contradiction about this post is that I'm sharing it with you in the hopes that you like it, and can relate. But if you take anything from this, I hope you discover the wisdom in the space that exists beyond the oversharing, scrolling, viewing, and judging.
I hope you can find the beauty in this moment for it being exactly as it is.
No edits, no curation, no sharing.