Updated: Dec 10, 2019
I woke up yesterday morning and like most other mornings when getting ready for work, I stood staring at my closet for five minutes scrambling to choose an outfit to wear and one that I actually liked. I do this at least two to three times a week and sometimes even after buying new clothes. I can fall into this mindset of wanting more, more, more! and believing that I don't have enough. It's as though a new item I recently bought is no longer appealing after I've worn it a few times.
I know, it sounds petty, it's just clothes after all, and by no means the end of the world or a scale to measure all that I have, but I'm someone who admittedly feels my best when I think I look my best. If my hair is long and shiny and my mascara just right, if my pair of tight, Madewell high-riser jeans accent my curves and a pretty blouse and heels compliment them, then I find I'm naturally in a better disposition for the day. I know, I know - kind of superficial, right? But hey, I like what I like.
This post isn't so much about clothes and appearances as it is about having a mindset that is never truly pleased with what it has. The mornings where I stand listless in front of my closet, eyeballing the ever growing display of garments and feeling dissatisfied, believing that it's never enough, sets such a poor tone for the rest of the day. (No pun intended).
If I can perceive my life to be lacking with something as simple as clothing, then it's just as easy for my mind to believe that any other area of my life is not good enough. And to begin my day in that way creates an energy of scarcity and shortcomings - an aura that I don't want to emit.
The truth is, I have way more than enough! I'm lucky to have what I have, yet my mind can easily drift into this state of lack and dissatisfaction. I ask myself, what would be enough? Clearly shopping for more clothes doesn't leave me satisfied after their initial wear; the excitement and thrill of email updates on a package being delivered to me dissipates after its arrival; and this belief that I'll be happier when I have more of the things that I think I need only leaves me in a space to never be fully content.
So where do I draw the line on my own mind? Where do needy desires get set at bay and founded truths rise to the surface? Because I've been here before. Time and time again, where I realize that I'm a very fortunate person with a beautiful life, who has more than she needs, yet can still zoom in on the lack thereof. There's nothing wrong with wanting more - it's a good thing to desire the best circumstances possible, but those desires need to be paired with gratitude for what already is.
What already is?
I have a creative job that supports me and my endeavors.
I have a beautiful circle of family and friends who enrich my life.
I have a boyfriend who is always making me laugh.
I have a home.
I have a brain that thinks, breathes and lives creativity.
I have a car to get me to where I need to go.
I have dreams, passions, hopes and I believe I will achieve my goals.
I have a crazy little dog, Sophia, who smells sometimes.
I have myself.
I have myself and that will always be more than enough.