Updated: Dec 10, 2019
What if I told you that you are perfect? That all of your dreams, passions, fears, anxieties, aspirations – all of it – is perfect? Would you believe me if I said that both your light and shadow are equally beautiful? That they are meant to make up the whole of you?
And do you ever wonder why some days it’s really easy to love yourself while other times you can’t seem to find one single thing that you like when looking in the mirror? Why does it have to feel so hard to convince yourself that you’re on the right track certain days?
I was talking to my oldest sister about this just a few weeks ago. I was telling her how one week I am breezy and light hearted, aligning with the flow of life and trusting in its rhythm, and the next, I’d be cynical and discouraged – austerely staring into present circumstances.
I’ll beat myself up for getting annoyed at things too easily, for snapping at people who don’t deserve it and for not always acting in my highest of lights. I know that I want to be a calmer, more harmonious person, but it can be hard when specific elements of your life haven’t quite lined up to match your exact wants and needs just yet. Sometimes it has nothing to do with that either, I’ll simply just get aggravated or provoked by insignificant matters.
Regretfully, I can be tough on my parents in moments when they’re just merely trying to help. Immediately afterwards, I’ll feel guilty for caving into a pessimistic demeanor. Some mornings I’ll wake up and be frustrated that I’m not yet living the life I envision for myself, then stumble over my own naysaying thoughts.
Other times, I just simply don’t want to put the energy into refocusing my thoughts onto the positive. Sometimes I just want to be as I feel, and there are plenty of times where I don’t feel all that happy.
After telling my sister this, explaining in complete detail all that I’ve done that I should feel guilty and criminal-like for, she responded with something quite perfect.
It’s just a part of life. I realize the older I get, it’s not about being perfect, or never getting triggered even. I mean that would be great but then where is the work? We have to have our buttons pushed to be who we are and feel what comes up to set new intentions – and that can change every day! It’s just the adventure of life and playing the game. And always coming back to love; especially loving the part of yourself that is judgmental or annoyed! It’s ALL part of the experience. We just get so attached and feel or think we “should” be different. But what if it’s all perfect the way it is? The good and the bad? The judgment and the love? The frustration and the gratitude? It’s all about letting go and allowing it to ALL just be what it is in every moment.
What if all of you is perfect? What is your life is perfect, just as it is, right now, in this instant? What if there is nothing in need of changing, because just by feeling who you are in this moment is changing you by itself? And what if you could learn to accept yourself, all of yourself; the bitter and the sweet; the happy and the sad; the snappy and the grateful; the cynic and the believer; and just know that it’s okay to feel both our lights and our shadows?
Debbie Ford, the author of the book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, says it best:
“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you're not. You will no longer have to prove you're good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to live in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired.”