We all have opposing forces working within us; there is the good and the bad; the love and the fear; the happiness and sadness. It’s a dual system that’s constantly at odds with one another, clamoring and contending until one ensuingly prevails. As it is human nature to have this balancing performance on display at all times, it is also second nature to decipher what people in our lives stand on the positive side of the scale for us; including ourselves.
Within our circle of coworkers, friends and family, we can intuitively choose off the top of our heads people we enjoy being around; those who promote optimism and confidence, encouraging us to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. These people have a way of making us feel better about things because they themselves are in the process of positive self-development.
As there are the supporters and encouragers, there are also the naysayers and disparagers; the people who always seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, always lurking close behind to point out some fault or to bring to mind some impending fear. These are the kind of people we try to avoid at all costs so as not to bring ourselves down with them.
How to know if you are the companion people welcome with open arms or the cynic people duck behind the nearest cover to avert? Find below the top defining characteristics for what it means to be an inspirer or a discourager.
The Inspirer
You are both a source of comfort and motivation. People flock to you for advice on personal matters because they trust your experienced and knowledgeable point of view. You not only speak about things in an uplifting manner but you carry yourself in the same regard as well. An ardent practitioner of what you preach, others see in you someone who exhibits assurance and influence.
You’re a catalyst for affirmative change; you spark an impulse in others to take action for the betterment of themselves. People see in you someone who chooses to think and say things that are in alignment with what they know to be true. You see in yourself a person who remains authentic to your beliefs and values; always ascending to being a better and more well rounded you.
The Discourager
You tend to be the person who always sees the glass half empty and anyone who tries to argue that will get your usual dose of self-pitying drivel. Life to you is more like an obstacle rather than an adventure. You bring past baggage into the new events of your life as a reminder that things are usually too good to be true and that life can be cruel at times.
When others around you get promotions, engaged, or are going on vacations, you become envious and instead of being happy for their achievements, you believe that it should have been you. There’s not enough good to go around for everyone in your book and you’ll be one of the first people to spread that conviction. You fear being happy because you trust that life is just going to hurt you in the end, and as a result, people don’t seek you out for guidance or acquaintanceship. Your doom and gloom attitude has an ability to follow you wherever you go.
Life is like a balancing act, as humans we naturally have both the inspirer and the discourager within us. Some days we wake up as the inspirer and by the end of the day become the discourager or vice versa. To know which one you resonate the most with, you have to ask yourself which one you want to be the most of. It seems a pretty obvious answer, but when it comes to being that person on a daily basis, it can take a steadfast effort.
We all want to be the best people we can be, better than the people who we were yesterday. Choose to inspire and help others to do the same, so as to lessen the voice of the discourager, the naysayer, and the believer in all things negative, for good.
