An Open Letter to My 29 Year Old Self
Updated: Dec 10, 2019
The last time you wrote yourself a letter was four years ago. Do you remember how old you felt writing that at twenty five? Do you remember how you thought you needed your whole life figured out and that you should have been further ahead than where you were? Or how you judged yourself for the work you were in and the ending of yet another unsatisfying relationship?
Well, for starters, twenty five was not old and neither is thirty, so don't go freaking out next year that you need to be anywhere other than where you currently are. I don't know why you put these deadlines and expectations on your life, believing that you have to be ten steps ahead when you've already accomplished so much.
How about we sit in recognition of that for awhile and just be rather than rushing to the next chapter and hastening toward an imaginary finish line?
You're someone who's always had big goals for yourself and I know that you just want to accomplish everything already, but while rushing past this moment of not yet being there, you're missing out on such an essential part of your growth. This moment of time is just as beautiful and rewarding as when you do accomplish that long list of goals.
And guess what? When you do finally cross those achievements off your list, there's going to be another set of goals right behind it. This process of always striving to be more will always be there, so why not just enjoy every step of the way instead of pushing against it?
Four years ago when you were freelance writing and bartending, you couldn't wait to find another job and get out of the service industry. Now that you're out of it, you find yourself missing the lax schedule and the freedom that came with that lifestyle. Never underestimate the blessings that are currently present in your life. You never know when the things you're wishing away will be the elements you treasure most.
Everything that you are experiencing now is a gift and meant for you. I know you analyze every teeny tiny detail of your life and like to feel secure in your decisions, but just know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Even the things that you feel uncertain of, be okay with not being okay with them. Whatever it is that you are feeling or going through, just learn to be in it and let go of judging yourself for not having all the answers yet.
You're never going to have all of the answers, that's part of the beauty and mystery of this life. If you can learn to embrace the unknown and understand that it's a necessary part of this journey, then your life will feel a lot easier, I promise.
For now, I just want you to be happy with where you're at and to stop worrying about things that haven't happened yet and most likely never will. Your mind is your greatest strength but it can also be your darkest enemy. You've come a long way with choosing what thoughts you want to think. Whereas you used to feel helpless before, you now know that your ability to think and say what serves you most is your greatest power.
Just take this with you for now and learn to be where you are. Bloom where you are planted. Be grateful for all that currently is.
Your life is your greatest masterpiece; it's time to revel in your own unfolding.
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