September was the season of letting go and saying goodbye for a lot of people. I don't know about you, but this month felt like one big obstacle course to me.
Once I trudged through the mud and swam across the lake to the rocky coast, there was yet another mountain to climb right past the clearing. And once I climbed that mountain and landed on the other side of it, there was another hill or incline to ascend just a couple miles ahead.
I always like to think that once I get over some issue or challenge and learn my lesson from it, that I'll be in the clear for awhile. I won't need to endure more painful experiences because I finally understand what I wasn't comprehending before.
This is rarely, if ever the case, right? Similar to how we believe our happiness exists in a future achievement or circumstance, once we attain our desired outcome, there's always going to be another goal right ahead of it. There's always going to be something else we wish to pursue that will make us "happier" than we are now.
Why do we always rush through the more mundane and difficult parts of life? Why do we look to the future as though it's more valuable than the present? Why can't we see the beauty in what lay before us, right now?
This month I said goodbye to things that I've been holding onto for too long.
Outdated beliefs of what will make me happy.
Old scripts I've been repeating that no longer serve me.
Fears that have kept me stagnant.
Experiences that bring me down.
Former versions of myself that don't feel worthy.
Addictions to people pleasing.
Talking about doing things without actually doing them.
It feels good to release the old to make way for the new, for you can never really bring in the new when you're still holding onto the past.
Sometimes you need to return to the past because there's still closure or leftover baggage to address. If you find yourself in relationships and experiences that feel like old energy to you, don't judge yourself for it, trust your process and know that there's a reason you're still returning to what you once let go of. You may need to return to it once last time to fully release it.
When you do finally say goodbye, it might feel heavy at first, and you may question your reasoning for cutting ties. As you look toward your future, you'll see mountains rising from the ground that you don't feel equipped to climb.
Yet, you've been here before. You've climbed those mountains. You've come out on the other side.
Don't rush through this difficult time to finally feel relief. Don't push through your discomfort to immediately heal. Stop believing that you'll be happier once you get through this.
You can create your own peace and happiness right now, even with your sadness, anxiety and uncertainty. You can learn how to be both scared and confident, lost and found, deserted and home.
Once you get through one obstacle, there will always be another. Once you achieve one goal, there will always be another.
Learn to swim through the tides of your own life, for it's always coming in and then rolling back out. You're like the ocean, both calm and fierce, steady and riotous.
When you say goodbye, you're also saying hello.
When you let go of what no longer serves you, you're finally free to bring in what does.
Trust your own seasons.
Trust yourself <3