Oh, and I Loved You

I heard ‘Conrad’

by Ben Howard

on my drive

home from work

the other night.


Do you remember

that song?

How we used

to get high

and lay in bed

over the sheets

holding hands

and getting lost

in our thoughts

as we listened?


The windows were

rolled down

and my fingers

skimmed the wind

as I thought of you

for the first time

in a long time.


Oh and I loved you

with the good

and the careless

in me.


I remembered

our life -

a life that feels

like lifetimes ago

now.

Just hearing

the melody

brought you back

to me.


Our story

unraveled like

a clenched fist

into an open palm

inviting me

to play

with my memories.


I wondered

if a song

or scent

or photo

or woman

reminds you

of what used

to be.

Of what could

have been.


Thinking of you

filled me with

a longing I forgot

existed.


Remembering us

on those nights

curled up with

each other,

stripped of clothes

and responsibilities,

needing nothing

but the other’s

arms

made me miss

the life I chose

to leave

so long ago.

Oh and I loved you

with the good

and the careless

in me.


Even if

it wasn’t enough,

I wouldn’t change

a thing.


Our memories

remind me

of what I’m

waiting for.


Your love

taught me

how to long

for more.



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