How do you deal with feelings of anger and frustration?
I'm not an angry or frustrated person. To be honest, I rarely feel these types of emotions. I've become well adjusted to spotting negative emotions and doing the internal "work" to discovering why I feel the way I do. I know how to replace unhealthy and detrimental thought patterns with positive ones, and I've learned how to practice breath work to calm myself down and remember peace.
I've been having a hard time doing that recently though. It felt easy to cultivate and maintain my internal states of being before, but now it feels like a constant battleground. I have tiny bursts of fury that fire off within me that I've never felt before and I don't know how to deal with them.
I catch myself in moments where I'm:
pointing the finger.
blaming everyone else.
confused to how we got to this place.
wondering if things will ever get better.
discouraged with what once felt comforting.
defeated in all attempts of understanding.
I went to sleep last night with stress flooding my system. I woke up this morning and instantly felt irritation boiling to the surface.
"This isn't me. Why am I letting myself feel this way?" I kept asking.
Then, I remembered a piece of truth that Sarah Blondin said in one of her meditations. She said something along the lines of: "We're often grateful for the gift of sight, sound, smell and touch, but are we grateful to feel? Are we truly grateful for the sense of feeling all things?"
I realized that my anger isn't something to be ashamed of. It's not something that I need to calm down to replace with positivity. It's just as valid as any happy or peaceful emotion.
There's a reason that it's swelling inside of me. There's a voice within me that's asking for attention. There's a call to action that I'm ready to hear.
There's no more sleeping. There's no more numbing. There's no more blind acceptance.
I will feel everything that I'm feeling. I will trust my new instincts. I will listen to my own wisdom.
For in feeling all of our emotions, there are messengers patiently waiting for us to listen.
Don't disregard the uncomfortable.
Don't hide from your truth.
Don't fall back asleep.
Please don't close your eyes.
We all must awaken now.