When I Saw You The Other Day...

When I saw you the other day I didn't know what to say

except that I hope you're happy.


It's funny, isn't it?

How you can know a person

inside and out,

the inner stirrings of their heart,

the way their chest rises and falls

while they're sleeping,

the noises they make

when in a deep rest,

how their face bends

when angry,

and softens with laughter,

and yet when your time

together is over,

how you resort back

to being strangers

in front of each other.


As though the story

you had written together

never happened.


As though the love you shared

never existed.


It makes me sad to think of us

in this way.


To be seeing but not acknowledging.

To be present but not awake.

To be feeling but not expressing.


I wondered what you were thinking,

if you wanted to look my way,

but were afraid our eyes would meet

and the deep dive of your heart

plummeting straight into your stomach,

a kind of ache you weren't willing to brace.


I think of you sometimes,

and I wonder how you are,

if your life is moving along

as you always hoped it would be.


Sometimes it still feels strange

not being part of your world,

the moments that lift you up,

excite you,

amaze you,

and the ones that pull you

deeper

down

darker

into the heaviness of it all.


I saw you the other day

and I didn't know what to say,

my heart was beating faster than normal,

but I wanted you to know

that I hope you're in a good place,

and I hope life is treating you well.

I hope you're happy.



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