I remember a time when
I craved this moment.
Not only craved,
but a deep belly howl,
reaching, barking, gasping
for the life that is now mine.
Long, dark and lonely nights
lying in bed
staring at the ceiling
imagining what my life
would look like
in years to come.
Would I be happier than
I was in that moment?
Would I find love?
Would love find me?
Would I ever be held
in such high regards
as she was?
Would someone ever
really see me?
Do I see me?
Looking back, I still see
that girl who wanted so badly
to be loved.
A girl whose dreams
kept her awake at night
and then lulled her into
a sweet, soft sleep.
Time passes,
life goes on,
we continue marching
forward,
sometimes awakened
most times asleep,
and when we finally wake
we realize we have become
who we once hoped
we would be,
and yet we don't see the growth,
the first steps taken,
the pain we've endured,
the years that have
flashed before our eyes
like the swift turning
of a kaleidoscope,
shapes and colors
morphing
transforming
all is always changing.
What if you could see,
my dear,
that you are the result
of all your former
yearnings?
You, my love,
have already become
what you had always dreamed
of becoming.
Please remember,
the child,
the infant,
the young boy or girl
who if seeing you now,
would be elated,
thrilled,
joyous,
relieved
to know that some day
all of their desires
birthed into life
like a crying baby
within us,
will one day see
the light,
will one day become the light.
Don't stay in your darkness
too long
so that you can't see
your own radiance.
Your own beauty.
Your own growth.
Please remember,
how far you've come
and how far you'll
inevitably go.
Don't forget to remember
you are where you once
hoped you'd be.
